Moodle

It’s been a week since I’ve posted here, mostly because I’ve been working so much. I have several new sites about ready to go “live” later this week - so stay tuned!!!

So, as I am sitting here working, I’m thinking. And what I’m thinking was important enough that I felt I should stop what I was doing and write about it. Why? Because I know I am not the only person out there with AD/HD. I know I am not the only one going through this, although it is easy to feel that way. So many people are still misinformed about AD/HD, some still don’t believe it’s real, and others over-label it. I’ve got tons to say on all of that, but for right now, I’m going to fast forward and backtrack all at the same time. That’s typical of me, a bit all over the place!

If you met me on the street you probably wouldn’t know that I was any different from the average parent. I have two great kids, an awesome husband, and a pretty darn good life. I have been blessed, and I know it. However, I have a monkey on my back that just won’t go away no matter what I do - that monkey has several names. Distractable Danny. Late Lenny. Impulsive Ian. Disorganized Dan. Chaotic Chris. Depending on the day my monkey might get called all of those names. If you are just meeting me, chances are you won’t see my monkey. Chances are that you will have to get to know me quite a bit before you catch your first glimpse. It’s not because he’s not there, it’s because I’m so chipper and fun loving often people don’t see beyond that at first.

My Monkey can be a blessing and a curse. The great thing about being ADD (I am a distractable type, not hyperactive) is that I am one creative chick. I can visualize like no other. I have ideas flying around in my head constantly. I can think outside of the box, and am pretty darn happy most of the time. That said there are so many bad things about my Monkey - it’s hard to know where to start. However, it’s important to share so that maybe someone reading this will realize that this is real, and it is so important to try to understand life for those children and adults who have it.

Here are some of the highlights of life with ADD. I constantly miss appointments - and yes, I write them on a day planner (at least I attempt to) and get reminder calls. Most of the time I’m just running around town messing around, I just forget! No matter how hard I try, it still happens. I cannot tell you how many cards I’ve given to dog groomers, hairstylists, and others for missing appointments. My children are quite often tardy. I’d say 50% of that is because I am behind. Why? Gosh, I couldn’t tell you. My son is in 5th grade now so I’ve been getting up and getting kids ready for school for quite some time. Yet no matter how hard I try, or how early I get up, I am still running behind. This probably comes in part because I am not good at keeping track of time. I tell you though, it sucks getting notes home saying your child is going to be kept for detention because he’s been tardy so many times, all the while you know it’s mostly your fault.

So - you’re thinking big deal, right? That’s the easy stuff. My house is one of the hardest things to deal with, because I cannot organize or declutter to save my life. No matter how many things I throw away, how many times I clean, how many tools I buy to help get things organized I cannot stick to it. Now don’t go thinking this is by choice, because believe me, there is no way anyone would choose to try and try to do better and fail for fun. So not only can I not keep my house somewhat organized, but I can’t ever find anything. The irony in that is that I put things in places that are logical at the time, but later I can’t remember. This isn’t something that happens every now and then, this is a daily problem. Luckily my friends can laugh with me now that they know me better, but it takes awhile to get to that point. This is an annoying problem but also can be a big one too! It’s one thing to not find my hairbrush or keys, another one to not find a paper for the kids school or a paycheck.

I also have tons of unfinished projects everywhere. This can be anything as minor as baskets of folded clean clothes that aren’t put into drawers or as big as ladders and paint in the playroom while I have the kitchen taped and am instead sanding the stairs. Why do I do this? Because I have so many good ideas and intentions and I just can’t do them all. I start one and another pops in my head and I just have to start that right away because it’s new and exciting. I don’t do this by choice or boredom, it’s hard-wired into my head this way. Around the house is bad enough, but what’s really hard is work.

Work… Gosh - how I’ve managed to work online all these years is amazing. I do not think I could run this website if I worked for someone else because right now what keeps me going is being able to do what I want, as I think of it. Tonight is the perfect example. I was in the middle of my new website, and stopped to come write this. I often flip and flop between different areas of managing this website which keeps me interested and challenged and allows me to get work done regardless of how focused I am. I can go between creating coloring pages to reading my website stats, to answering e-mails or updating and writing articles. I can do a little of all of it at one time, or just one area at a time. If I were not able to do that, I think I would have dropped this project years ago. I’ve done that with tons of other ideas in the past, as they were not interesting enough to me long term. Also, if I worked for someone else and left so many loose ends I’d be canned in a heartbeat.

So, my monkey can be a problem. He also keeps me from being able to create a menu for even a week, or making a shopping list and getting what I need at the store without having to call my husband to pick-up something I forgot for that nights dinner, or even getting around to planning a dinner at all. I am not exaggerating, making dinner is painful to me. It’s not that I don’t like to cook, it’s the thinking ahead and planning to make dinner. Go ahead, laugh. I’m just being honest here. I never said my Monkey wasn’t funny.

I am rambling a bit here. It’s hard, because there are so many important points to hit on and I just can’t do it all in one blog post. The most important I think is just that AD/HD is real, not pretend, and people need to start realizing that. All too often I hear one of two things. First is that it isn’t even real, that it’s food allergies, lack of sleep, an LD, etc. Yes, there are children who have those things and are *mis*diagnosed with AD/HD. However, AH/HD is real, and just because some people are not willing or able to get second opinions, challenge their Dr’s, and look for other answers to help keep misdiagnosing to minimal level doesn’t mean that all children/adults with AD/HD don’t really have it. I kind of think of it like this. AD/HD is what is left over after you’ve ruled everything else out. If you haven’t ruled everything else out, there is always a chance of misdiagnosis. The second thing I hear is that kids are over-medicated. Again, this does happen. I do not doubt or question that. However, to punish the entire population by labeling all medicating parents as over medicating just isn’t fair. Until you’ve walked in our shoes you have no idea what it is like, or how hard it can be. Medication is a personal choice, one that each person has to make for themselves. There are pros and cons, risks and rewards to both using and not using it. Please don’t rush to judge people based on misperceptions. I didn’t want to try medication for a long time because of “things I’d heard”. Looking back I now see years of extra frustration and stress that I could have somewhat eased.

Medication isn’t a fix all. My Monkey is still around, but he isn’t as visible during the day. I am now getting better at being on time, working towards growing my business, and even getting dinner on the table once in awhile. But waking up and getting moving before my medication is still really hard, as are the late afternoons/evenings when it has worn off. I will never be “normal” like most of you. But at least now I have periods of functioning at a level closer to what I am capable of mentally. I just wish I had known years ago what was “wrong” with me and been able to get help then. It’s much harder to change your lifestyle and habits after 31 years than when you are younger. Even with medications help, I still have many years worth of clutter and habits to get rid of. So next time before you gossip about a hyper kid, or criticize a friend who is giving their kid medication, think twice. If we help our children when they are young they have a much better chance to be successful as they get older. Is it really your job to rob that chance from a child??? Instead, be supportive. If you have questions or think there is a misdiagnosis, encourage your friend to get a second opinion. Get a book on AD/HD and give it to them, requesting to read it when they are done. You would both benefit.

I think that’s it for tonight - but I will post a lot more on this on a later date. There is just so much to share, but of course my brain is already jumping on to the next thing. hehe

P.S. A special shout-out to my pal Shawna who understands every word I’m writing here and is a constant source of inspiration to myself and many others!!! Keep advocating girl, I admire the heck out of you!!!